From Bibi’s Theatre of the Absurd to The Over Bloated, Two Benjamins’ Three Ringed Circus, Clowns & All

Set up as an emergency government to fight Covid 19 and its aftermath, the new coalition raises far more questions than it answers.  It makes a mockery of representative government and fools of us all.

Having failed to gain a majority in three elections and having been indicted on three criminal charges, Netanyahu yet again has manged to hold on to the premiership and will lead the new “emergency”, unity government.  And what a government.  If the media is to believed (a stretch these days, I admit), after eighteen months of categoric statements that he would not join a government led by Benjamin Netanyahu, and that an MK facing criminal charges cannot possibly be eligible to lead the country, Benny Ganz had an epiphany.

In order to save the country from ongoing political turmoil and instability, and more importantly to enable a government which could address the very real crisis caused by the Covid 19 virus, he must put aside his ideology.  He must put aside his deeply held principals in regard to an indicted criminal’s eligibility to run the country, and he must put aside the various promises and guarantees he had made to the public.  Ultimately, he must sacrifice his own public reputation and political future for the sake of the country, to live up to his ultimate commitment and slogan of “Israel before everything else”.

This new emergency government will be led first by Netanyahu for a period of eighteen months after which Ganz will then take over the premiership.  But as we know eighteen months is a lifetime in Israeli politics and who knows what will be in November 2021.  For now, or if all goes through as expected on Sunday May 17th, Prime Minister Netanyahu will once again be “crowned” the elected leader of Israel.  Just seven days later Netanyahu is due to sit in court three times a week as he stands trial on three criminal charges of deception, breach of trust and bribery.  Strange days indeed.

But let’s not get distracted.   Let us look at this emergency government that has saved us from political turmoil and instability, not to mention another expensive election.  Let’s examine the makeup of this emergency government which will focus on the Corona crisis and its dire consequences for the country. 

Apparently, despite this government being set up to deal with the current crisis, Covid 19 is hardly mentioned in the lengthy coalition agreement.  Rather the lengthy document performs impressive contortions and contractual acrobatics to overcome the deep mistrust between the parties, along with Netanyahu’s need to circumvent the legal process and his potential ineligibility to remain in government.

But we have an “emergency” “unity” government to address the current crisis, which has to be a good thing?

Well that depends upon how you view the purpose of government and the roles and responsibilities of those in office.  Apparently, the Netanyahu, Gantz coalition means business.  After all extraordinary times call for and extraordinary government and a really big one to boot.

Thus, a government consisting no fewer than 36 ministers and up to 16 deputy ministers has been established, where if it’s numbers that count, then we are surely saved.    New ministries have been established.  No expense is being spared.  An impressive 52 of the standing 120 member of the Knesset, a whopping 43% of all parliamentarians have been drafted to fight the evil virus and its consequences.  Covid 19 doesn’t stand a chance.  “Hear oh Israel”.

So, let’s look at the “crack team” that has been assembled and the roles they will take on to beat the virus and lead Israel back on the path to prosperity and solidarity.

Thankfully, in addition to the Prime Minister, we now have a substitute Prime Minister.  Well, just in case, you never know and can’t be too careful, especially these days. Two is better than one!  Then there are the traditional ministries required to run and govern the nation, such as Defence, Foreign Affairs, Treasury, Health, Interior, Internal Security, Culture, Transport, Communications, Science, Environment, Employment & Welfare, Regional Development, Science, Business, Immigration, Tourism. 

OK, so the basics are covered.  But these are extraordinary times and this government has been set up to deal with Covid 19.

Who can argue with the desperate need foe a dedicated Minister for Covid 19, who can really get to grips with the virus and work with his or her colleagues in the other ministries to deal with the very real challenges presented by the pandemic in all aspects of life?  Yep, a Minister for Covid 19, the main focus and indeed primary purpose of our new emergency government, is a no brainer, makes perfect sense.  Good call!

Only there won’t actually be a “Minister of Corona”.  Obviously, having one ministry fully focused on the problem doesn’t make sense after all.  Silly me!

Fortunately, our two Benjamins have realized that you need numbers to beat this bastard virus if you’re going to win and put the country on the right track.  Firstly, 2 Prime Ministers is obviously better than just one.  And let’s not waste time with a paltry single Minister to take responsibility for Corona and its aftermath.  We’ve doubled the number of Prime Ministers, so obviously the thing to do is to more than double the number of ministers, where we can have not just 1, but 16 or 17 ministries working in tandem to defeat Covid 19.  Well with that kind of fire power perhaps six months is indeed all it will take.  What a strategy, what determination, what commitment.

And what a list.  Here are some of the additional Ministerial offices, that with your support (mostly financial), will work tirelessly to defeat Covid 19.

• The Minister for the Strengthening and Promotion of Communities – Orly Levi Abukasis

• The Minister for Equality in Society – Merav Cohen

• The Minister for Minorities -?

• Minister in the Defence Ministry (but not the Defence Minister & Not the Deputy Defence Minister, just an extra minister) – Michael Biton

• Minister of The Diaspora – Omer Yankelovich

• Minister for Strategic Matters – Orit Farkash Hacohen

• Minister for the Link between the Government and the Knesset – David Amsalem

• Minister for Jerusalem – Rafi Peretz

• Minister for Regional Cooperation – ?

  
  

I could go on.  There are more, much more,  but you get the idea.  Victory against Covid 19 and its aftermath is assured.  Let’s face it the new government has covered all eventualities.

Where the virus has weakened communities and society, Orly Levy Abukasis will be there to strengthen them.  Merav Cohen will be there to make sure that the fight against Corona embraces diversity, where she will surely work with the Minister for Minorities, as she makes sure Corona embraces minorities and not just diversity.

As the battle will be hard fought, thankfully in case our Defence Minister and his Deputy are taken out by the virus, not to worry as Michael Biton will be there as a third wheel, sorry Minister to make sure our defences are up to the mark.  While our defence is assured, Omer Yankelovich will be able to involve our fellow Jews all over the world in the fight, with surely untold benefits. 

Of course, strategy matters in this war with Corona and luckily, we now have Orit Farkash Hacohen to deal with strategic matters for the government, just in case any of the Ministers forget to bring a strategy with them to address their particular area of responsibility.   Wow, this government really has though of everything where one is never enough.

My personal favourite Ministerial addition, where I ask myself why haven’t they thought of this before?  Indeed, how has Israeli democracy been able to operate without it, is the newly formed Minister for Linking the government with the Knesset. 

All this time, I thought, perhaps mistakenly that the government and the Knesset were communicating and cooperating in an effective albeit imperfect manner.  Thankfully in these extraordinary times, none other than David Amsalem will now be able to make sure that the government and the Knesset are truly linked together.

Rafi Peretz will be able to ensure that Jerusalem is not forgotten in these critical times and Ophir Akunis and the new Minister for Religious matters can make sure we all pay, sorry pray for our new government to be supported by good and his representatives here in Israel, obviously the more the better.

So, when it comes to the current emergency, it looks like the new government has it covered… twice over, actually.  They say a people get’s the government it deserves.  One can only wonder, what have the people of Israel done to deserve such a government, as Bibi’s theatre of the absurd becomes the over bloated, Two Benjamins’ Three Ringed Circus, clowns and all.